I was thinking about commenting on the sickening farce of so many people rejoicing in the death of another human being - not to mention the fact that keeping him alive would have been a much better idea, as he doubtless had much to tell that we'd all want to hear - but I decided against writing about Henry Cooper. Instead, I'll go with my original idea of raging impotently about the royal family.
I'm English (for better or for worse) and so it's the 'English' royal family that I'm bothered about. What really kicked me in the opinion sack lately was, of course, The Wedding. "What dress will Kate wear?" (I don't care) "Who's getting an invite?" (politicians, rich nobodies, a few dozen Middle East dictators, and a few plebs from Kate's home town to appease the proletariat) "Two billion people watched the wedding!" (no they didn't) "Where will the honeymoon be?" (Why do you care? What's wrong with you?) and so on.
The vast majority of people living in the British Isles did not and do not give a flying monkey dropping about that wedding. That, at least, is what I choose to believe in order to retain some scrap of faith in humanity as a whole. Oh yes, there were thousands of street parties; but how popular would they have been without free food and drink, I wonder? Besides, not all of them were a hive of activity. There were two such parties in my town, and my wife and I went past them at three different times of day. Hilariously, both struggled to attract more than half a dozen people.
There were an awful lot of pensioners among the adoring crowds. Why do the older generations tend to adore the royal family so? Well, I can't pretend to understand that completely. A major factor for some, however, must surely be the two world wars. Nations need a focus for strength and unity both during and after such wide-reaching and horrific conflicts; and that focus for us was, by and large, the king and the royal family in general. On top of that, previous generations didn't enjoy 24 hour global news coverage, with a wide choice of semi-independent news outlets. Nowadays, it's much easier for young people to see and understand that a monarchy is not necessary - or even desirable - in today's world.
There were many younger people lining the streets though, I'm well aware of that (I'm not counting toddlers dragged along who had no say in the matter). When one such young person was interviewed briefly by a BBC monkey, it turned out that she was American (as was the girl who came along with her). This reminded me that an awful lot of the younger royal groupies probably hail from other lands. Many other countries - particularly America - are packed full of people obsessed with our royals. Are they stupid? No, not at all. They simply have a romanticised understanding of kings, queens, princes and princesses.
In fairytales, kings and queens are brave and wise; princesses are beautiful. often persecuted, but always loved; princes are athletic and heroic. They all think of others first. The British royal family consists of a racist slaphead, an old bat with no power and no idea of what the real world is like, a fox hunting toff with Lineker ears, a kid who sees nothing wrong in dressing up as a Nazi, another kid whose most notable achievement to date is getting married without falling over, and dozens of forgettable bit players. All of whom, of course, are - no matter how you choose to word it - living off benefits from birth to death, guaranteed.
These human beings live lives of unimaginable luxury for no better reason than being born in the right place at the right time. Pampering them, paying for their security arrangements, and buying & maintaining their property, land and animals costs literally untold millions (billions?) of pounds every year. How many new hospitals is that? How many new doctors to staff them? How many schools? How many domestic abuse shelters? Can you really tell me the money would not be better spent there?
The strongest argument offered up by royalists, I think, is that the royal family generates millions of pounds of tourist revenue every year. That's absolutely true - the royal family and associated buildings are hugely successful tourist magnets. Imagine how many more tourists we'd bring in after the revolution, however. "If you look to your left, you'll see the remains of Buckingham Palace."
The royal family are, unfortunately, here to stay now. I can't change that - I know. Just don't try telling me that their existence is in any way justified.
It isn't.
